HAWKEYE AND MARGARET QUOTES
Hawkeye, receiving a needle: I want mine in my tushie.
Margaret: What?
Hawkeye: Derriere! The back of my front! The fleshy part! I can't take pain, I can only give it!
Margaret: All right, lower your trousers.
Hawkeye: I thought you'd never ask.
Hawkeye: How 'bout a little kiss for the road?
Margaret: Oh, don't be ridiculous!
Hawkeye: Then how 'bout one for me?
Margaret: I don't like being frightened. It scares me.
Hawkeye: Me too. I'd feel a lot more brave if I weren't scared.
Margaret: Permission to say it serves you right, sir.
Hawkeye: Permission denied. Dismissed.
Margaret, receiving a needle: Ow! What was that?
Hawkeye: Load of B1. To get you on your feet again.
Margaret: And I didn't get you anything.
Hawkeye: Which dunderhead are you talking about?
Margaret: I-COR.
Hawkeye: Oh, the head dunderheads.
Margaret: Morphine
Hawkeye: No thanks, I've had enough.
Hawkeye: Did you talus?
Margaret: No, I'm keeping it a secret.
Hawkeye: Sulfa, where's the sulfa?
Margaret: It's in the living room.
Hawkeye: What?"
Margaret: The sulfa is in the Living Room between the end tables.
Hawkeye: Margaret, you made a joke.
Margaret: I told you, I was tired.
Margaret : They're mocking my Majority.
Hawkeye : Well, what do you know? We're "major" mockers.
Margaret: [angrily] You're dismissed.
Hawkeye: Thanks, Mom. We've gotta get up early, anyway, and work on MacArthur's hernia.
Hawkeye: You know that shot you gave me for the flu?
Margaret: Yes.
Hawkeye: Well it worked, I got it.
Margaret: Are you sure?
Hawkeye: Am I sure. Of course I'm sure. I want to go to a latrine that has all night service, my liver is swimming every time I look at anything, now tell me, do I have the flu or am I just in love?
[Hawkeye takes out the thermometer]
Margaret: I want to see if you have a fever.
Hawkeye: Oh trust me. I've got fever to burn.
Hawkeye: Blow in my ear.
Margaret: What?
Hawkeye: I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye: Radar, you'll be assisting Margaret Houlihan, nurse, friend and all around good egg.
[walks away as Radar stares at Margaret]
Margaret: [noticing Radar staring at her] He's very sick.
Margaret (to bleeding North Korean Soldier): He's the enemy! You can't help him.
Hawkeye: Funny he bleeds just like our side does.
Margaret (in the jeep with Hawk): Do you have to sing?
Hawkeye: I didn't bring my tap shoes.
Margaret: Why does the war have to be so loud?
Hawkeye: That's so they can find it when the lights go out.
Margaret: Why are you taking this road?
Hawkeye: Because they are not shelling it! I'm trying to avoid roads that are in a process of disappearing.
Margaret: "How do you feel?"
Hawkeye: "Like a hostage, how 'bout you?"
Don't mind Pierce and Hunnicutt, they're both first rate surgons. Sure, they'll show up to role call in their bathrobes. They keep a still in their tent. Once they ran all my underwear up the flagpole. But I want you to understand it's an honor to serve with these men. -- Margaret
There are so many things I was sure I'd have in my life by now. Every birthday reminds me of what's still not there. This just turned out to be another day in the middle of nowhere. -- Margaret
Oh, go salute yourselves! -- Margaret
Margaret: Act like a man you sniveling twerp.
Margaret: Did you ever once show me any kind of friendship? Ask my help with a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this tent and hear you laughing and know... that I'm not invited? Did you ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee?
Nurse: We didn't think you'd accept.
Margaret: Well, you were wrong.
Margaret: Maybe you do have the most to lose, but that's only because you got the most!
Margaret: "I don't fall over, captain. Everything around here will be just fine if there's a little less leaning a lot more leadership. We need obedience. We need discipline, not this chaos. Doctors like you constantly out of uniform. Nurses who don't belong in uniform. Dogs running around loose in camp...they're getting run over by jeeps."
Margaret: What?
Hawkeye: Derriere! The back of my front! The fleshy part! I can't take pain, I can only give it!
Margaret: All right, lower your trousers.
Hawkeye: I thought you'd never ask.
Hawkeye: How 'bout a little kiss for the road?
Margaret: Oh, don't be ridiculous!
Hawkeye: Then how 'bout one for me?
Margaret: I don't like being frightened. It scares me.
Hawkeye: Me too. I'd feel a lot more brave if I weren't scared.
Margaret: Permission to say it serves you right, sir.
Hawkeye: Permission denied. Dismissed.
Margaret, receiving a needle: Ow! What was that?
Hawkeye: Load of B1. To get you on your feet again.
Margaret: And I didn't get you anything.
Hawkeye: Which dunderhead are you talking about?
Margaret: I-COR.
Hawkeye: Oh, the head dunderheads.
Margaret: Morphine
Hawkeye: No thanks, I've had enough.
Hawkeye: Did you talus?
Margaret: No, I'm keeping it a secret.
Hawkeye: Sulfa, where's the sulfa?
Margaret: It's in the living room.
Hawkeye: What?"
Margaret: The sulfa is in the Living Room between the end tables.
Hawkeye: Margaret, you made a joke.
Margaret: I told you, I was tired.
Margaret : They're mocking my Majority.
Hawkeye : Well, what do you know? We're "major" mockers.
Margaret: [angrily] You're dismissed.
Hawkeye: Thanks, Mom. We've gotta get up early, anyway, and work on MacArthur's hernia.
Hawkeye: You know that shot you gave me for the flu?
Margaret: Yes.
Hawkeye: Well it worked, I got it.
Margaret: Are you sure?
Hawkeye: Am I sure. Of course I'm sure. I want to go to a latrine that has all night service, my liver is swimming every time I look at anything, now tell me, do I have the flu or am I just in love?
[Hawkeye takes out the thermometer]
Margaret: I want to see if you have a fever.
Hawkeye: Oh trust me. I've got fever to burn.
Hawkeye: Blow in my ear.
Margaret: What?
Hawkeye: I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye: Radar, you'll be assisting Margaret Houlihan, nurse, friend and all around good egg.
[walks away as Radar stares at Margaret]
Margaret: [noticing Radar staring at her] He's very sick.
Margaret (to bleeding North Korean Soldier): He's the enemy! You can't help him.
Hawkeye: Funny he bleeds just like our side does.
Margaret (in the jeep with Hawk): Do you have to sing?
Hawkeye: I didn't bring my tap shoes.
Margaret: Why does the war have to be so loud?
Hawkeye: That's so they can find it when the lights go out.
Margaret: Why are you taking this road?
Hawkeye: Because they are not shelling it! I'm trying to avoid roads that are in a process of disappearing.
Margaret: "How do you feel?"
Hawkeye: "Like a hostage, how 'bout you?"
HAWKEYE QUOTES
Hi, good-looking, get sick here often? -- Hawkeye to Margaret
I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! -- Hawkeye
Hawkeye, standing in boxers, a T-shirt and bathrobe: Would I do anything to disgrace this uniform?
I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train, I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take five. -- Hawkeye
After the war I am having a bust made out of your head, or, possibly, the other way around. -- Hawkeye to Margaret
Any father of Margaret is a father of mine. -- Hawkeye
Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? In the blood of children? I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then --- then the hell with it. How dare you? The hell with your Iowa naiveté, and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear, and while you're at it, the hell with you. Why don't you grow up for crying out loud? I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder -- if possible, without going crazy. Period. -- Hawkeye
Hawkeye: In this particular Mobile Army Hospital, we're not concerned with the ultimate reconstruction of a patient. We only care about getting the kid out of here alive enough for someone else to put on the fine touches. We work fast and we're not dainty, because a lot of these kids who can stand two hours on the table just can't stand one second more. We try to play par surgery on this course. Par is a live patient.
Hawkeye: Bite your tongue, Margaret. Or better yet let me do it.
Let's shoot him and put him out of our misery -- Hawkeye
They'll keep coming whether I'm here or not. Trapper went home and they're still coming..... Henry got killed and they're still coming. Wherever they come from, they'll never run out.. -- Hawkeye
Frank, do you know what a hero is? Ninety-mine times out of a hundred, he's somebody who's tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn. -- Hawkeye
Hawkeye to Margaret: I hope you realize this means we're engaged.
Hawkeye: "Look Colonel, I'll treat their wounds, heal their wounds, bind their wounds, but I will not
inflict their wounds."
Hawkeye:"We win some, we lose some. That's what it's all about. No promises, no guaranteed survival. No saints in surgical garb. Our willingness, our experience, our technique are not enough. Guns and bombs and anti-personnel mines have more power to take life than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending for a movie, but then no war is a movie."
Hawkeye: The army, in its infinite wisdom has not only cleared Frank of all charges, they have assigned him to a veterans' hospital in Indiana, and promoted him to Lieutenant Colonel.
Hawkeye: No wonder they execute people at dawn. Who wants to live at six A.M.?
Hawkeye to Margaret: Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Hawkeye: Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye: Frank, you are 10 of the most boring people I know.
Hawkeye on why he didn't put anything of Frank's in the camp's time capsule: Well, I was going to leave his scalpel, but I didn't want to include any deadly weapons.
Hawkeye: How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye]
Hawkeye: Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. ~Hawkeye
Hawkeye: "I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That's entertainment."
Hawkeye: "Okay boys and girls, it's time to do something intelligent. Since I seem to be the only intelligent person here, I nominate me. All in favor saye 'I'."
I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! -- Hawkeye
Hawkeye, standing in boxers, a T-shirt and bathrobe: Would I do anything to disgrace this uniform?
I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train, I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take five. -- Hawkeye
After the war I am having a bust made out of your head, or, possibly, the other way around. -- Hawkeye to Margaret
Any father of Margaret is a father of mine. -- Hawkeye
Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? In the blood of children? I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then --- then the hell with it. How dare you? The hell with your Iowa naiveté, and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear, and while you're at it, the hell with you. Why don't you grow up for crying out loud? I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder -- if possible, without going crazy. Period. -- Hawkeye
Hawkeye: In this particular Mobile Army Hospital, we're not concerned with the ultimate reconstruction of a patient. We only care about getting the kid out of here alive enough for someone else to put on the fine touches. We work fast and we're not dainty, because a lot of these kids who can stand two hours on the table just can't stand one second more. We try to play par surgery on this course. Par is a live patient.
Hawkeye: Bite your tongue, Margaret. Or better yet let me do it.
Let's shoot him and put him out of our misery -- Hawkeye
They'll keep coming whether I'm here or not. Trapper went home and they're still coming..... Henry got killed and they're still coming. Wherever they come from, they'll never run out.. -- Hawkeye
Frank, do you know what a hero is? Ninety-mine times out of a hundred, he's somebody who's tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn. -- Hawkeye
Hawkeye to Margaret: I hope you realize this means we're engaged.
Hawkeye: "Look Colonel, I'll treat their wounds, heal their wounds, bind their wounds, but I will not
inflict their wounds."
Hawkeye:"We win some, we lose some. That's what it's all about. No promises, no guaranteed survival. No saints in surgical garb. Our willingness, our experience, our technique are not enough. Guns and bombs and anti-personnel mines have more power to take life than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending for a movie, but then no war is a movie."
Hawkeye: The army, in its infinite wisdom has not only cleared Frank of all charges, they have assigned him to a veterans' hospital in Indiana, and promoted him to Lieutenant Colonel.
Hawkeye: No wonder they execute people at dawn. Who wants to live at six A.M.?
Hawkeye to Margaret: Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Hawkeye: Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye: Frank, you are 10 of the most boring people I know.
Hawkeye on why he didn't put anything of Frank's in the camp's time capsule: Well, I was going to leave his scalpel, but I didn't want to include any deadly weapons.
Hawkeye: How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye]
Hawkeye: Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. ~Hawkeye
Hawkeye: "I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That's entertainment."
Hawkeye: "Okay boys and girls, it's time to do something intelligent. Since I seem to be the only intelligent person here, I nominate me. All in favor saye 'I'."
MARGARET QUOTES
I am not so think as you drunk I am. -- Margaret
Don't mind Pierce and Hunnicutt, they're both first rate surgons. Sure, they'll show up to role call in their bathrobes. They keep a still in their tent. Once they ran all my underwear up the flagpole. But I want you to understand it's an honor to serve with these men. -- Margaret
There are so many things I was sure I'd have in my life by now. Every birthday reminds me of what's still not there. This just turned out to be another day in the middle of nowhere. -- Margaret
Oh, go salute yourselves! -- Margaret
Margaret: Act like a man you sniveling twerp.
Margaret: Did you ever once show me any kind of friendship? Ask my help with a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this tent and hear you laughing and know... that I'm not invited? Did you ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee?
Nurse: We didn't think you'd accept.
Margaret: Well, you were wrong.
Margaret: Maybe you do have the most to lose, but that's only because you got the most!
Margaret: "I don't fall over, captain. Everything around here will be just fine if there's a little less leaning a lot more leadership. We need obedience. We need discipline, not this chaos. Doctors like you constantly out of uniform. Nurses who don't belong in uniform. Dogs running around loose in camp...they're getting run over by jeeps."